Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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