This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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