he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
