Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
