I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
