I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
