Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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