i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
