It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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