At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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