I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
