We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
