just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
