I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
