i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
