So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You don't make any sense
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