No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
