She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
