Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
