Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
