I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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