just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
