Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Who died my cat blue again?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
