i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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