Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
