How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
