"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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