I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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