no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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