Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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