he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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