Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i dont even know how to be here
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
