why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
