"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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