Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This baby is an asshole
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
