I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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