My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
