its not stalking. its research.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
