Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
