in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
