hotel room ftw
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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