Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
