CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
