Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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