I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
