Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
