highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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