At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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