he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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