No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
