Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
