New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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