Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
